It was bad.

Last week that is. Tuesday night was spent out with the vet sewing up Lady's leg, which she sheared down to the bone. Stupid 2y/o filly. Thankfully this won't impact her racing career next fall. I got out of the barn around 12:30am and plopped myself into bed, no shower.

7:05am Foal Alert called my phone. "FUCK" was the first thing that came to mind as I stumbled out of bed, down the stairs, into some clothes, and finally down to the barn 3 minutes later. Twoey's water had broke and she has given absolutely no indication of foaling up until that point. The vet even checked her the day before. At 7:12am a pretty chestnut filly took her first breath. It was a red bag birth (broke inside that mama, full of blood) and I did help that little girl out. Except something just wasn't quite right with this filly. I immediately thought she was a dummy (Dummy Foal Syndrome), but gave her time to settle in. After the first hour, she had not gotten up, even with my help. At the 2nd hour I freaked and had the vets out in 40 mins (it's very important to have colostrum in their system within 3 hours). Dr Dawn said that the filly needed to be hauled somewhere right away after looking at her for roughly 45 seconds. An hour later Twoey, filly, and I were on our way to Purdue. When we got their an hour and a half later, filly's temp wasn't registering on the term. A team of senior vets and students were working on her right away. Dr Uberti and Dr Couetil were wonderful. I couldn't remember the name of the student or the techs, but they were equally as great. Twoey was being an angel. She knew her baby was sick. I left after an hour or so, knowing I wasn't bringing two horses home. Filly was put down the next day because of her multiple organ failure. She had septicimia, which started in Twoey. There was no way of knowing that the mare had an infection without drawing blood. So the poor little filly was dying before she was even born. Gosh she was so beautiful too.

RIP Nameless Filly. I wouldn't let myself name her unless she came home. It sounds heartless, but it's easier.

I have two mares due in two weeks. Both will have blood drawn and be on anti-bios big time. I'm not losing another one.

Sadly the horse side fails me once again. I promised myself I wouldn't let anyone die. Even though the filly's death was out of my control, I still feel as though I could have done more.

My father called yesterday about a job for me. His best buddy growing up manages a multi-million dollar farm down in KY, full of racehorses. It is owned by a sheik of Dubia and absolutely incredible. I don't know what I'd be doing down there, but at this time, I don't want it. I'm so burned out of horses. They break my heart.

And I've only got two more weeks with the animals.

Tired Girl.