Tuesday, April 22, 2008


I hate coyotes. If I owned a gun, I'd be sitting on my porch picking off the bastards one by one as they strolled on by. Since it's been absolutely gorgeous out for the last week or so, I've turned the heat off and opened windows. Last night I slept with all my four bedroom windows open. It was one of those days where you came in and pull out your teeth so I hit the hay early. Around 2am I was jarred awake by those disgusting creatures screaming their bloody fucking heads off. Of course Cookie jumps right out of bed (she sleeps next to me) and starts to howl in that husky Lab voice. Way to get my adrenaline pumping!

Being the paranoid nut I am, I sleep with a massive Maglite under my bed that is bright enough to illuminate tree trops. So I whipped that out and counted 13 coyotes. That is a HUGE pack. Biggest I've ever heard of around here! Typically they stick to smaller groups, but being breeding season and all, I guess the rules get bent. And they've never gotten that close to the house before. I'm sure they were on their way to bother the horses since I left the doors open. Great, but thank goodness there isn't a foal around. They'd chew through walls to get a baby.

Now I need to sweet talk my redneck hunter friends to stake out the farm one night. I'll provide the bait and beer if they provide the bullets.

Tired Girl isn't fucking around anymore!

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